Book writing, Brené Brown and belonging...
“Let go of who you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are.” - Brené Brown.
“Let go of who you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are.” - Brené Brown.
Well, it has been a minute hasn’t it? I think the last time I sat down to pen a Substack for you all was back in FEBRUARY of this year. Since then I think I have barely lifted my foot off the accelerator… until now. The thoughts for the below were already whirling in my head back then, mulling around, but I was trying my hardest to suppress them then and just trudge on. As we are here, I can confirm, that did not work.
I hope the summer has been good to you and you and your loved ones are all well since I last wrote…
Now, almost 10 months on, I am a newly self-published author, I’ve acquired two more horses (one was accidental, I promise!) and I’ve successfully relaunched my magazine, In The Country, but with a new twist - as well as celebrating the country lifestyle, I’ve leant into my own interests and identified a USP in the mag publishing market for something (beautiful) which celebrates the rise in country music’s popularity and with it, the rise in the love for the western lifestyle and horse riding.
For around a year, maybe more, I’d been seriously wanting to get into western riding here in the UK. My love for western was sparked when I was a little girl, spending hours upon hours ‘helping’ at the yard I now run, opposite my (then) family home. There, was a lady with two striking appaloosas, to me looking back she was iconic and the embodiment of western style. I fondly remember clambering up onto bales of hay in her store-stable, sipping a hot chocolate and peering out the stable door into the darkness of the early evening, admiring the western posters she had pinned to the walls.
In classic ‘me’ style, I relaunched the magazine, my book AND picked up my new horse all in the same week, but life’s funny and it all worked out.
I held a little celebration for both the book and the magazine at Lordington Park in West Sussex (one of my freelance clients). It was a surreal evening celebrating with friends, family and ITC connections near and far, new and long-standing. Here are a few photos of the evening, kindly captured by Tuesday of Fable and Flare.
The new horse is a beautiful 5 year old palomino registered American Quarter Horse (GI Guns For Dollars) who has been backed but for polo, so will be restarted for western. She is proving to be very sweet and willing so far, but it has been many years since I’ve owned a mare of my own and wow - are they different to geldings!?
So, the book… A Search of Kinds, it’s a love story. A western love story. I started writing it at a time where I myself am searching for various things.
It is for anyone that enjoys romances yes, and horses and that western lifestyle, but also the book is undercurrents which I hope shine through the love story. It is not just another ‘smut’ book, yes there is a little bit of spice, but there is a storyline AND it will be (hopefully) one of three.
Taken from the inside pages of the book;
“This, is for anyone who has felt like they don’t belong, that their interests, their passions, their dreams don’t fit with what friends family and society envisage for you. It is for anyone searching for a place to belong, for love, for clarity or to feel seen. For those of you who have found it, congratulations, I hope you can still enjoy the ride and perhaps reflect back on your journey through the words on these pages.”
The magazine has been a success so far and I am already looking forward to the next Edition, I have already begun jotting down story ideas.
What is inside?
Marina Fogle spoke to me about balancing her life as a mother, wife and woman with her horses.
I wanted to highlight a friend’s business which brings country music loving women together through her Hat Bar events, an extension of her own, UK Country Hats, for an evening of country music, yummy food, creativity and western lifestyle, as they decorate their own hat. I was lucky enough to have been invited onto one of the events down in Poole, this was my creation:
I got behind the wheel of the enormous, sexy left-hand-drive GMC 1500 Sierra AT4 to see how it handled UK roads.
Ariat, a brand whom I have had a long-standing relationship with, have collaborated with ITC to offer one lucky reader the chance to win a pair of their stunning cowboy boots worth up to £300.
My
co-founder and now lead, curated an exclusive guide to digital detox escapism staycations following my vague brief.With the festive season approaching, we have a small gift guide which can serve as gift inspiration year round which includes pieces from Hiho Silver, Beth Hicks, LG Leatherworks, Dimpsey Glamping, Kate Simpson Art, The Silver Stable and Nouvelle Habit.
There is honestly so much to shout about within the magazine including thoughtful dog training with Jo Perrott, learning to ride at 40 with Marcela Pomphrey and exploring what our respective and individual roles are as stewards of the countryside.
If you are interested in reading the 150+ pages of the returning In The Country magazine, head to the website to order your copy: www.inthecountrymagazine.com
The whole idea for setting up this Substack was to be able to share my experiences and reflections throughout my own journey to creating a life that felt more aligned with my authentic ‘self’. I wrote in my description of this Substack as I set it up;
“The light at the end of the tunnel, whatever that may look like for you is worth wading around in the dark, wet and cold mud.
I’ll be honest, I am unsure what my light looks like yet, but I know I have to make changes to reach it. I invite you on that journey with me and I hope along the way I may be able to help inspire some of you to take that risk and embrace the uncertainties of change in pursuit of happiness and fulfilment with me.”
I am by no means there yet, but reviving In The Country, writing my novel ‘A Search of Kinds’, setting my sights on learning western and immersing myself in the UK western community are all positive changes I am making on that journey.
Mentally, I am in a much more positive place. I look at life now with optimism and excitement for the future in contrast to the pessimism and feeling lost, which I’d felt previously. Writing, the physicality and regularity of caring for the horses and livery yard, as well as Nellie’s unwavering love and joy most definitely helped me to this point.
I’m still searching, but I am searching from a more aligned place.
How are you? No, really?
I’ll leave you with this quote by Brené Brown, which I included in the opening pages of my book…
“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are. Owning your story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”